Narcissism: An Outcome of Bad Parenting & Neglect

Father Feeling Depressed At Baby's Mealtime

The term Narcissism has taken the modern world by storm and has compelled social scientists to unravel evidence to support the existence of this disorder. So, what is Narcissism? An ugly part of one’s personality that puts them in a strange state of denial. The cloud of self-imposed oblivion is so dense that the person continually needs approvals to support their insecurities, self-image issues, and lack of emotional inflation in their lives. You would realise that there is a little bit of this characteristic in all of us. However, this turns into horrific borderline personality disorder when the sense of theatrical becomes the self-deception. The ultimate aim of wearing this mask is to stay unreceptive to the feared external criticism.

A Narcissistic individual is often labelled as Energy Vampires. What does a Vampire do? It sucks the blood out of your veins until you take your last breath and turn cold. An individual with the personality disorder shall come rolling into your lives, with his mask on, projecting as someone you have ever asked for, and then later lives on your shine. Living with a Narcissist is no different than living with a person who needs ego inflation, submission to his uncalled anger, and approval to forced sex at the time.

Narcissism & Personality Disorder: Lift the Curtains Up

No one can fathom how dark it seems when this individual stomp on one’s vulnerability and feeds on their fears. With a Narcissist, you will feel like as if you live with a mirror- reflecting your image, personality, and weaknesses. There is nothing novel to ask for, and in the end, you will be ghosted like an unpalatable left-over. Now that you understand that there is a little bit of flaw in everyone’s personality, what sets Narcissist apart? Do you know of anyone who does this?

Symptoms/Spot the One:

•    During a conversation, you will see a Narcissist over-emphasising his talents, skills, sexual conquers, and achievements. The jar of water will always be overflowing with self-praise that puts off the entire environment

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•    Lack of empathy is the most prominent noticeable feature. Remember what our elders used to say, “If a person is good to you but not to the waiters, he is still ugly”. You will never spot a Narcissist adoring a pet, sympathising with a needy, or have a loving relationship with his/her wife or husband.

•    At its peak, these individuals emotionally abuse the other person by giving them a silent treatment for months, use people for money, and ending relationships without closure.

•    They always on a lookout for a target. If they disconnect with you, it will take them open days to find someone else to feed on.

•    Blame shifting is a common sight

A person with a personality disorder like this can never have a fulfilling life, will always find a source that can satiate their ego and greed, and never settle down in any job or place.  The modern era has witnessed some of the most celebrities reflecting one or many of these symptoms, and one who got the centre stage was Donald Trump. His uncalled pompous aura and evident boisterous speeches make him the best fit for the study. According to the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders [Ref-1], Narcissism can be explained as a set of insidious behaviour pattern that comprises grandiosity, the constant need for admiration, and no empathy. It is best believed that these patterns creep in early childhood and most cases adolescence. From a very young age, it becomes difficult for Narcissists to accept criticism and faults. Moreover, there is a strange world of fantasies, and immense success surrounds the lives of these individuals.

Seems like a tough nut to crack, right? However, the real deal is that where this disorder comes from? Every problem has its root gripping strongly onto some soil or source. Researchers shook the entire medical industry when they came up with the fact that Bad Parenting & Neglect is a significant cause behind this issue.

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How Bad Parenting & Neglect Waters the Wrong Behavior

A Narcissist never actually falls in love or makes love with emotions in that case. Even if you see one with kids, best believe that he or she will never share an excellent parent-child relationship ever. There is an unfathomable black hole that encapsulates the lives of these individuals and anyone who trespass the boundaries is assuredly fall prey to the baits of this dark world.

There have been continuous researches and studies conducted on strange behaviour patterns, mental disorders, eating disorders and Narcissism. Every single personality glitch had one thing in common, and that was Childhood traumas. Presence of toxic parents, environment, or complete childcare neglect sabotages the proper behavioural development in a child. As they say, “Anything in excess is bad”, and this is applicable on the way a child is raised. According to a popular paper published by The Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders that was later published on many knowledge sources online, clearly states that a child under toxic parenthood is most likely expected to have one or more personality issues or disorders of some sort.

Neglect & Suicidal Tendencies in Kids

This fast-paced world shares time and peace for no one, and there is entirely a possibility that working parents, for instance, have little to no time to spend with their kids. To compensate for their own failed commitments, they choose to satiate the uncalled needs of their kids, feed their anger with money or food. In worst cases, these kids never have a future vision because of controlling ambitious parents, who keep the reins in their hands. The forced reality slowly sinks into the behaviour of the kids, and they think that the unfortunate instance is what their life is composed of. The study went into the depths of the situation and made commendable revelations:

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•    The investigation revealed that 66% of children who grow under parental neglect also suffer from one or more disorders like Borderline Depression, bad relationship skills, no social skills, social media junkie, and histrionic personality disorders.

•    50% of the respondents were men or male child

•    Narcissistic children are 14% more likely to commit suicide due to their frail self-esteem and domineering nature

•    Parents who fight in front of their kids instil a thought in the child’s brain that determined relationships seldom blossom, and this affects the perceiving powers of the child to a great extent

•    Lack of attention, agreeing upon undue needs, and forced choices creates a harmful buildup in the child’s brain stating that life within the means is not satisfying. This leads to a further deep hole that lacks emotions, and empathy.

•    The cases of extra-marital affairs are rising on a steep rate, and such a toxic environment leads to a child’s inclination towards infidelity.

What Harvard Has to Say

One of the well-known universities ever known to Human, Harvard, too conducted a gamut of researches on Narcissism and personality disorders. The Health Department of the University stated that the roots of Narcissism dates back to the childhood trauma and incidents happened in the early stages of life. Because these incidents stay still in the child’s mind for so long, it is easy for any such a disorder to become a part of his/her personality slowly.

In one of the crucial findings [Ref-2], Harvard revealed that a Narcissist is a con-artist who wears multiple masks. The façade is so believable that some of the intense Human Resources tests like SWOT analysis often fail to understand the real personality of the candidate. 

Before You Leave….

Narcissism is not a personality disorder in a real sense; yes inevitably it accompanies many other problems. This can more precisely be described as an empty hole that is a result of a series of toxic incidents in one’s life. It is a gaping hole that has no ends to its toxicity. An individual picks up all kinds of energy but replicates negative ones the most, and this is what shapes reality. Even though the success rate for bringing a good change in their lives is too low, still you can stay at a safe distance if and when required.